| Not Bringing SexyBack: One 'Fro At A Time |
The Phoenix compiled a list of the 100 Unsexiest Men of 2007. The spirit is a little mean, but it's funny, so I'm sure you can all forgive me for indulging in my sometimes shallow disposition. Besides some of the people on the list totally deserve to be there. If you are bored and need a laugh, check it out.
Here are my highlights from the list with my usual glib commentary.
100 - Tom Cruise (Is it just me or does Scientology seriously kill your popularity ratings? It's like celebrity suicide. I'm starting to feel sorry for baby Suri. She will never be able to evade the alien taunts in the playground. She may as well just change her name to E.T. Yup, I'm totally aware that I am continuing to perpetuate this myth by my rambling. Irony is inevitable.)
99 - Aaron Carter
97 - Larry King
96 - Jon Heder (the dude from Napoleon Dynamite and Blades of Glory)
95 - Patrick Stump (from Fall Out Boy, who apparently steals his essence from Pete Wentz who keeps his balls in a jar. lmao)
92 - Osama Bin Laden (Not only for terrorism, but for crimes of fashion.)
91 - Bob Saget
87 - Joe Simpson (For ogling and endorsing his daughter's assets.)
78 - Bill Gates
77 - Dick Cheney, the "Acting President of the United States"
64 - Peter Jackson
63 - Chad Kroeger (from Nickelback)
60 - Malcolm Gladwell (I personally think the dude should win an award for his 'fro and I like his writing, so he's cool on my account)
 59 - Gene Simmons
56 - Kim Jong-Il
54 - Dr Phil
52 - Jay Z
35 - Kevin Federline (Apparently, he was supposed to rank higher, but Brit fell off her wagon and stole his thunder, making him look surprisingly and remarkably sane.)
29 - Mark Anthony (The guy is either anemic or needs some serious sun. He makes me look tan.)
28 - Dustin "Screech" Diamond
25 - OJ Simpson (Seriously the whole 'If I Did It' thing is a oddly suspicious. He's either guilty or a completely insensitive asshole.)
24 - Phil Spector (The 'fro must really not be in. He looks like he stuck all five of his digits into a power socket, hair sprayed it for extra hold, then looked in the mirror, gave himself a ghostly fright and went grey. The fact that he is a crazy wife-killer who apparently also held The Ramones hostage at gunpoint once doesn't help either.)
23 - Pete Doherty (I have never seen a good picture of this guy. He looks permanently "f'd up" and well, he probably is. There's probably smack fused to his blood cells.)
21 - Gerard Way (WTF!? No you are wrong, wrong, wrong. I love this guy. I personally think he's kinda sexy... Note: my first case of utter disagreement.)
18 - Mel Gibson (Definitely a guy in need of rehab...)
15 - James Gandolfini (entitled "Waste Management" for his increasing girth)
12 - Karl Lagerfield - (He is one weird looking guy.)
11 - Michael Richards (He just can't redeem himself after the racist jokes.)
9 - Bob Dylan, "Senior Citizen Rocker"
8 - Perez Hilton, "whose sense of entitlement far outweights his actual contribution to society" (haha)
7 - Sanjaya Malakar (from American Idol. He makes all the girlies cry. That little girl in the audience was both sweet and pitiful in her hysteria.)
5 - Howard K. Stern
2 - The Fat Guy from Borat - "Repeated viewings of the scene in which Ken Davitian goes cheek-to-hairy-cheek with Sacha Baron Cohen's face have been proven to cause sterility in lab rats. So feel lucky that it merely makes you want to rip your eyes out of their sockets." (True that! The most disturbingly funny thing I have ever seen.)
1 - Donald Trump
Other people who received votes: Travis Barker, Jack Black, Bobby Brown, Kobe Bryant, George Dubya, Michael Crichton, Billy Crystal, Billy Ray Cyrus, Danny Devito, Andy Dick, Fabio, Will Ferrell, David Hasselhoff, Pee-wee Herman, Tommy Hilfiger, Michael Jakcson, Ron Jeremy, Billy Joel, Kid Rock, fat Jarred Leto, Joel Madden, John Madden, Marilyn Manson, Isaac Mizrahi, Rupert Murdoch, Regis Philbin, Prince Charles, Axl Rose, Donald Rumsfield, Rick Salomon, Ryan Seacest, Richard Simmons, David Spade, Jerry Springer, Sylvester Stallone, Howard Stern, Tom from Myspace (who just assumes you want to be his friend!), John Travolta, Keith Urban, Vanilla Ice, Don Vito, Deryck Whibley, Weird Al YankovicLabels: articles, celebrities, gossip |
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| 3 Comments: |
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Hey Lauren - thanks for the e-card :-) I forgot to talk to a squirrel in case it was you. I don't think I saw one. I will keep my eye out.
Anyway, have to tell you about NaNoWriMo. Write a novel in a month! Quantity not quality! Lol. It sounds like fun, and a challenging writing exercise. Check out www.nanowrimo.org and maybe we can write our arms off in November!
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You are welcome. The e-card cut off my very last sentence though. I was going to warn you not to speak to skunks, should you see any. They are not me and will not reward you for you for friendly conversation. I still may have powers of omnipresence but I prefer to avoid the smelly species (no real offense to skunks, should they be reading this, with their powers of omnipresence to possess blog readers).
Regarding the NaNoWriMo, perhaps we should say..... Yes?
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Hey Lauren - thanks for the e-card :-) I forgot to talk to a squirrel in case it was you. I don't think I saw one. I will keep my eye out.
Anyway, have to tell you about NaNoWriMo. Write a novel in a month! Quantity not quality! Lol. It sounds like fun, and a challenging writing exercise. Check out www.nanowrimo.org and maybe we can write our arms off in November!